Let’s talk about some real gold
Last week LSU announced the upcoming launch of LSU GOLD, a subscription-based content service that will provide behind the scenes access to LSU sports.
Unrivaled content. Unprecedented access.
Introducing LSU GOLD – coming to screens worldwide on August 1.
— LSU Tigers (@LSUsports) June 6, 2022
This was probably inevitable. Online content gets millions of views and LSU produces a lot of it. It makes sense to capitalize on this fountain of material….. buuuuuut $8.99 per MONTH is a big ask for behind the scenes footage of practices. A lot of LSU fans on Twitter shared this sentiment.
However, I believe this service can provide even more content than we realize and live up to its price point. Here is where I will pitch LSU-related shows that will give subscribers their money’s worth.
The Complete LSU Tigers Game Archives
I understand there are probably legal roadblocks to this, but this is the one surefire thing that would get me to subscribe to this service day one. Imagine if you could rewatch any full game broadcast from any LSU sport. I would lose days to this.
Letting people into the vault is the only thing that sustained Disney+ for the first year and a half. Sure The Mandalorian was a hit, but the reason everyone signed up immediately was for the back catalog. If LSU GOLD can find a way to let me relive the school’s illustrious sports history, I’ll be there.
Brian Kelly Year One Unfiltered
LSU has already promised an in-depth series on Brian Kelly’s first season. This draws obvious comparisons to HBO’s hit Hard Knocks, but nobody expects this to live up that standard. Hard Knocks is engrossing because of how unfiltered it is. The cameras do not shy away from players and coaches not being on the same page. It gets dirty and ugly. It’s not NFL PR. It’s raw and up front. That’s not the type of access LSU will give us.
But for $8.99 per month they damn well should!
If I’m PAYING to see everything Brian Kelly is doing behind the scenes, I better see him rip into the offensive linemen for not being good enough. I better see him try to convince recruits to dance with him. I better see him try to suck crawfish heads in 90 degree heat. If I want to see Brian Kelly put on a happy face for the camera, I’ll look at the stuff LSU has already put up on Twitter. For a monthly fee you gotta take me behind the curtain for real.
Tailgate Town Starring Billy Gomila and Zach Rau
When it comes to LSU football, the games are only half the story. The food and drink scene prior to kickoff is what makes Saturday Night in Death Valley a bucket list experience. The show will follow ATVS alumni Billy Gomila and Zach Rau as they work sunup to sundown on providing the best tailgate experience anywhere in the country.
— Zach (@zrau) September 9, 2018
Back in the Boot: Inside Tyrann Mathieu and Jarvis Landry Return to Louisiana
The Saints might be stingy about what kind of stuff can be filmed in their facilities, but this show will mostly be off the field as two beloved Tigers readjust to being back in their home state after almost a decade in the NFL.
An original series inside the LSU women’s basketball program. Since Hollywood loves gender-swapped remakes of classics, this will be Coach Carter but for Women’s Basketball. Go behind the scenes as Kim Mulkey transforms a fledgling SEC program into a powerhouse again! Can we swing Samuel L. Jackson and Channing Tatum cameos? Don’t get your hopes up unless you’re willing to pay even more than $8.99.
The Tyler Moore Show
A traditional multi-camera sitcom starring an LSU utility player from the early 2010s. Chances are your parents might click on it by accident thinking it’s like the other show.
Another Remake of THE SLAP Starring Odell Beckham Jr
I do believe we are living in the golden age of television. The number of quality shows is truly too high to keep up with, so a lot of people miss out on great stuff. One of the most insane shows of the last decade that not enough people watched was NBC’s remake of an Australian miniseries “The Slap.”
The show saw a renewed life a few months ago after a certain celebrity slap at a certain awards show. But I don’t think that slap was nearly as funny or interesting as the one two years earlier. I’m of course talking about the time Odell Beckham Jr. slapped a Superdome security guard’s butt in the locker room of LSU’s national championship celebration.
DEVELOPING: An arrest warrant has been issued for @obj by New Orleans PD. The charge? Simple battery for a butt slap.
— Stadium (@Stadium) January 16, 2020
If you don’t think Odell Beckham’s night is worthy of an 8-part drama series, you probably don’t remember everything that happened and need to watch it. Imagine going behind the scenes as Odell flees in an attempt to evade the law and NCAA lawyers following his epic butt slap and handing out of cash to amateur athletes. It will be the revival of the Western genre the people need.
My Celebrity Parent
A coming of age story about LSU athletes trying to launch a sports career with the burden of living up to their famous parents. The show will star an ensemble cast featuring McKenna Kelley, Kramer Robertson, Keith Hornsby, Thaddeus Moss, Karrington and Kennedi Houshmandzadeh, Drew Bianco, Shareef O’Neal and more. Post-episode roundtables will be hosted by T-Bob Hebert.
The Coaching Apprentice
Similar to the Celebrity Apprentice but with Scott Woodward as host and with LSU’s 16 team sport coaches as the competitors. Can Jay Clark charm a luncheon with boosters better than Beth Torina? Will Garret Runion or Sian Hudson score more recruits on a weekend trip? Whose apology for coming up short in the postseason will fans accept, Jay Johnson or Brian Kelly? That’s what this competition is for!
Tigers in the Wild Starring Ben McDonald and Marcus Spears
This show has long been pitched by ATVS Godfather Pod Katt, and there truly has never been a better opportunity to greenlight it. When our two hosts are not sharing their sports expertise on television, they are distinguishing themselves as the most prominent outdoorsmen employed at ESPN. It’s long past time to send a film crew out to the tree stand or the lake.
We still picking up #Sheds and this is one of my favorite ones yet…some of y’all remember #CaptainHook …he was smarter than us this past hunting season…can’t wait to see what he looks like this year! #WhatGetsYouOutdoors #ShedHunting #MississippiMonster pic.twitter.com/uaVT7g6Pa5
— Ben McDonald (@realbenmcdonald) April 25, 2022
The Roast of Skip Bertman II
Believe it or not, this will not be the first LSU-sanctioned Roast of Skip Bertman. Sure, the man is arguably the greatest coach in the history of LSU sports, but his ability to come up with roasts and devastating one-liners might be an even greater skill. Just ask Starkville. Since no footage of the 2001 roast can be found, let’s do another! This time any and all Smoke Laval jokes are on the table.
The SEC Fan Training Video for Oklahoma and Texas Fans
We will welcome our new brothers to the West with a healthy multi-part series going over everything they need to know. Some of it they’re ready for, like the toxic message boards and wanting to fire their coaches. Some of it they’ll need some help with, like looking down on other conferences like peasants and scheduling no more than one OOC P5 game each year.
Joe Burrow’s Cigar Lounge (Alternate Title: Inside the Athlete’s Studio With Joe Burrow)
Between The Player’s Tribune, LeBron James’ barbershop show and a billion podcasts, athletes are entering the sports talk game on their own terms. Here’s my pitch: a cross between Inside the Actors Studio and Hot Ones. Joe sits down with LSU athletes for a discussion regarding their life and their craft, but while smoking various brands of cigars throughout the show. If I had my way, both Joe and the guests will be in full uniform.
Bonus Seventh Season of ‘Better Call Saul’ Where Saul Must Represent LSU Through All the Legal Troubles of the Past Two Years
That’s much scarier than the Salamanca family if you ask me.