Playing Dirty: Arkansas

Off Pig Sooie

Coming off the massive high of beating Alabama, LSU rolls into Fayetteville to play an Arkansas team that… is not on a high. Here to catch us up on where the vibes went wrong is Arkansas Fight’s Tucker Partridge.

1. Alright I know this is where I’m supposed to make Arkansas jokes, but I still can’t get over how awesome last week’s win over Alabama was. Did you see that game! How awesome was that??

I think I can just answer honestly and that will be all the smack talk I need: I didn’t watch the game. After suffering through our loss to Liberty, I weighed my choices and decided to catch up on Bachelor in Paradise with my girlfriend instead. Can’t believe Rodney got sent home!

2. Okay okay back to the actual game at hand. Arkansas won the Golden Boot trophy for the first time since 2015 last year. So how was the past year parading it around? Did anyone suffer a broken foot from dropping it on themselves? Was a recruit blinded when the flash on his phone was reflected back into his eyes? Tell us how your Golden Boot title defense year went!

They say the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas was created when Houston Nutt dropped The Boot in the 90’s. At this point, I think the loser of the game should get to carry around The Boot. It could be required to carry The Boot around on every trip to every game for the calendar year.

In an ideal world, it would be replaced with a spray painted old rubber boot, but unfortunately this is not the world we inhabit.

3. After a promising start to the year, the Hogs are reeling following a loss to Liberty. This definitely proves Hugh Freeze should get the Auburn job yes?

We’ve faced a couple of would-be Auburn coaches this year. Bobby Petrino tried his best, but I think Hugh Freeze managed to pull ahead in the Buyout Sweepstakes with a win.

I can now proudly say that I have been dm-ed by an SEC head coach.

4. Which of these narrowly averted situations is worse to an Arkansas fan: Bret Bielema winning the Big Ten or Bobby Petrino beating Arkansas on Family Weekend?

I think there’s still great love for Bert. It was kind of an amicable divorce where both parties were better off going separate ways. We tried a weird rebound relationship with Chad Morris that turned into a Jerry Springer situation, while Bert lost some weight and rebounded with some guy named Bill Belichick. Now we’ve ended up in happily different situations. I wish Bert nothing but the best.

Bobby on the other hand might have caused the state of Arkansas to collapse into a singularity, decimating all life in the universe in a black hole of hate and angst.

5. I know I’m an LSU fan and should be on the opposite side of this, but Sam Pittman and Brian Kelly on the complete opposite ends of the college football coach likability spectrum right? If not them, who’s on each end?

I think college football is too nuanced for a spectrum. Allow me to provide an alignment chart instead: